Thursday, April 19, 2012

civilian horse.

I have an idea for a movie. I already know everyone will hate it, except for me. And maybe three other people.

I need to explain a few things before I describe it though. First of all, whether because I love horses or maybe just animals in general, whenever I'd see a war movie that involved horses getting shot and killed, even though it always happened as the background of the main plot that was going on, I always wondered about the horses and felt bad about them dying. I wondered who owned them (in the context of the story, of course- not who owned them in real life) or where all of the soldiers were getting this endless supply of horses that just ended up slaughtered as a result of war. I wanted to know their background stories.

Then War Horse happened (I realize it's an adaptation of a novel, which was also a play- but I'm just focusing on the film), and for once a war film focused on what was generally just used as a prop in other films. We followed one horse, and his journey through WWI. We got to see the back story of a character who's usually pretty insignificant in the plot of other war films. Cool.

Enter: Any Vin Diesel movie. The most recent one I watched was Fast Five. This could really apply to any movie that involves extreme levels of violence or intense car chase scenes, but for the sake of having an example, I choose Vin. So, in watching Fast Five, as good old Vin is dragging an enormous safe through the streets of Brazil or wherever he was, slamming it through buildings, running red lights, causing chaos that is bound to end in innocent people being injured or even killed as a result of his Robin-Hood-except-he-keeps-the-money-for-himself antics, my idea for a movie was born.

Here it is: It's like any other movie. About some guy or some girl who has a crazy job, possibly a love interest, maybe two love interests, could be a comedy, could be a drama, whatever. And then I want it to end with the main character maybe just being on a street corner talking to their love interest, or maybe at the bank trying to keep their house from getting foreclosed on. They could even be just driving down the road on their way to drop the kids off at the babysitter before they go out and party with their girlfriends. And I want the movie to end with a huge safe just tearing down the street, crashing through the bank, or sliding up onto the sidewalk- ending their life. Thus, ending the movie.

It will be a movie dedicated to all of those characters at the bank or just driving down the streets of Brazil that no one really thought of. It will be the War Horse of car chase movies and bank robbery plots. It will be a horrible movie in the sense that we'll never know if that person was able to save their house, if they had a good time at the club, or which love interest would've won out in the end. And maybe, the next time people watch a Vin Diesel movie, they'll think about the implications of that ridiculous car chase. Maybe they'll think of the innocent bystanders whose lives are cut short by unnecessary action. Maybe they'll remember the civilian horses.

4 comments:

Anne Rowley said...

This was quite possibly the best blog post I've ever read. Honest.

Emily said...

Okay. Yes. We feel the same on this subject. Thats why we are meant for each other. I love you. This was fabulous.

Emily Maher said...

Ha ha, well thank you Anne :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. Em- I love you too. And I'm so glad you feel the same way. We really are kindred spirits.

Zeb Marchbanks said...

I will watch this movie. In fact, I am watching this movie in my mind currently. Additionally, regardless of the content of the movie: plot, setting, genre, characters - I desperately need the title to be "Civilian Horse."