Monday, September 15, 2008

things i simply don't understand

1.Female athletes who wear large hoop earrings while participating in their chosen sport ( I can't even wear large hoop earrings to work without injuring myself or others. And I sit at a desk and type all day. How do they do it?

2.When vendors at events complain about reporting and paying the sales tax they collected from people who purchased their goods. We (the tax commission) aren't taking money from you- you took it from the people, and we're simply collecting it. It was never yours. If anyone should be upset, it should be your customers. And I don't get to keep any of it. I just have to sit and count the thousands upon thousands of one dollar bills you so graciously chose to pay with. If you want to make a statement, go march on Capitol Hill.

3.Phone voices. It seems as though no matter how hard I try, my voice changes when I talk on the phone. I sound more exciting than I really am. I've noticed this happens with everyone, especially when talking to strangers, or making appointments.

4.Why celebrities aren't happy with thriving in one type of fame. Some are okay with just being movie stars, or just being singers, but there are those who have a clothing line, a perfume, a reality tv show, an art gallery featuring their own artwork, a barbie doll, 65 albums, and 47 upcoming films (that are more often than not about the same thing). Okay, we know you're talented. Good for you. You can be talented around us, just don't be talented AT us. It comes off as a little aggressive.

5.HELEN. KELLER. And whoever taught Helen Keller. I will never understand how you can teach someone who can't hear or see. Sure, you could use the sense of touch. But HOW?! How did she even know she was a human? How did she even know what a human was? Em and I were talking about it while we were locked out of her apartment, and we came to the conclusion that sure, they could teach her to read braille. But even IF she got to a point where she could tell that so many dots make up an "A"..... what the hell is an "A"? Are you, reader, comprehending this? She couldn't hear or see. From infancy. Just close your eyes and put some ear plugs in and try to do something. I bet you can't do it very well. And you already know what everything is. What if you didn't know? I think this upsets me more than interests me, because it seems so impossible. But it happened. Helen Keller herself said "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." How does she even know what those words mean. And yes, I meant for that to be a statement and not a question. I think Helen Keller and whoever taught her aren't credited enough for succeeding in the face of so many impossibilities.

6.Why I've spent so much time typing this almost ridiculous blog. Goodnight, all.


Cameron's Corner said...

That Helen Keller one was awesome. I've tried to figure it out before, but I stop because I keep hitting all sorts of paradoxes I'm afraid I might go back in time.

But it always reminds me of about a dozen jokes...

Just Me said...

Oh my goodness, I love you.
1- Agreed
2- That's like people yelling at me for their insurance plan when their employer actually sets it up. Yell at your boss!
3- I turn "valley girl" on the phone. I hate it.
4- Agreed
5- I have never actually thought about this before- and now it's a conundrum that I will be dealing with. Thanks a lot.....